TK, Kevin, Marissa and The Crew

Moms driving TK and Kevin down right now from VT.
TK said shed text me.
And then she said Mom really wants to see me.
How am I suposed to go to the beach house now.
I already asked Kelly to come with me and she said she would; and I would ask someone else but I dont know if shed want to go anywhere near me since the last time we talked.
Mar?
Would you want to come too?
Sigh.
Today Im suposed to have a Katie//Sarah//Me day but I just dont feel like it.
I want to call up Catie and be like "Dudeeeee if I find a ridde to Union can I visit?"  but I wouldnt find a ride and Kelly would be pissed if I ran for the hills with my tail between my  legs.
And this past few weeks havent been helping with my "self-esteem" (if I have any..)
Right now I feel like I could fall in a pit of fire and the only thing someone would ask is if I either stopped doing drugs or they could have something that was once mine; shoes/clothes/books..
Sigh.
The next two weeks are going to be hell.
I have sitter duty at the Tenting with the Crew.
The beach house.
Whatevers going on between me and Kelly that suddenly goes into kissing on her bed {that started two nights ago}
The Josh talk with Bianca.
The whole shity shoot my eye out thing with Bruce.
Telling Fred what actauly made me so pissed that he stopped talking to me for months and then out of the blue ends up walking over to my house with PJ looking for Steven and then ending up asking me flat out in front of them for a blowjob.
No idea how Im going to fix much of this.
Last night after Kelly dropped me at Caties and Matts; it kinda piled on higher.
Sigh
I dont know.
Im just in a slump; and I need to get out of it.
And the normal way I deal with it isnt going to work this time.
I need to find an outlet that wont force away the people I love.
~_~


---------------------------------------------------------
Mother, where are you today?
You took a piece of me the day you went away,
No recollection noe the smell of your perfume,
I took a piece of you the day I left the womb.

Brother, put your needles down.
The best thing for you is to leave this awful town.
Pretty soon, you'll have kids to feed.
If you see mother, tell her I can sing.

[Chorus:]
Please don't worry, I am doing fine.
You're much to busy, to even find the time,
So use your chemicals and take this to your grave,
The boys you left are men you didn't raise.

And daddy, how are you today?
You must be proud of the boys that you have raised.
Your withered heart, and everything its seen,
Your guts and callises, you had kids to feed.
You had kids to feed.

[Chorus:]
Please don't worry, I am doing fine.
You're much to busy, to even find the time,
So use your chemicals and take this to your grave,
The boys you left are men you didn't raise.

My hair's a wreck
Mascara runs
My feet get dirty
And my skin burns in the sun.
My lips they bleed
But I still sing my songs.
Takes me a minute
To admit it when I'm wrong.

Pretty is as pretty does,
But pretty's not my thing.

This is what you get.
This is who I am.
Take me now or leave me
Any way you can.
Sometimes I trip and fall
But I know where I stand.
If you're thinking about changing my direction,
Don't mess with imperfection.

My back is weak,
But my will is true.
Got good intentions
But I never follow through.
I say too much,
And don't know when to leave.
In case you're looking,
That's my heart there on my sleeve.

Ego trips and stupid slip ups,
I'm a mess but

This is what you get.
This is who I am.
Take me now or leave me
Any way you can.
Sometimes I trip and fall
But I know where I stand.
If you're thinking about changing my direction,
Don't mess with imperfection.

Scratched and bruised,
A little used,
But baby I work fine.
You might call me
Damaged goods,
But I'm one of a kind.

My hair's a wreck,
No I'm not perfect
But I'm not the only one.

This is what you get.
This is who I am.
Take me now or leave me
Any way you can.
Sometimes I trip and fall
But I know where I stand.
If you're thinking about changing my direction,
Don't mess with imperfection.
This is who I am.
If you're thinking about changing my direction,
Don't mess with imperfection.
 

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl:

Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl:

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl:

 

 1-Drama. DUHHH!
2-I am the only one who can play as me.
3-The Crew would play themselves.

 

So a few months ago; I challenged my Uncle Victor to a musical education challenge.
And last night I got two cds from him.
And Im not gunna lie; Its Really Really Good!
{The Jackass dubbed the cds 'Crossfire' from on of the songs}
Ofcourse I had heard of a few bands; Blue October, Muse, Amor for Sleep..
But great music all the same.
So I decided to do my list last night
And I do say- It Is Epic!
Im going to blare him out =D
 

ARTISTS	SONGS
Against Me	White People For Peace
Boys Like Girls	The Great Escape
Dragonforce	Heroes Of Our Time
Dreden Dolls	Coin Operated Boy
Escape The Fate	The Day I Left The Womb
Flight 409	Operator
Flogging Molly	Seven Deadly Sins
Foxy Shazam	No Don’t Shoot
Jack Off Jill	Fear Of Dying
Muderdolls	Die My Bride
People In Planes	Pretty Buildings
Relient K	Be My Escape (Acoustic)
Rise Against	Swing Life Away
Say Anything	Walk Through Hell
Say Hi To Your Mom	But She Beat My High Score
Serj Tankian	Empty Walls
Streetlight Manifesto	Everything Went Numb
Streetlight Manifesto	Point Counterpoint
Tegan and Sarah	The Con
The Antsy Pants	Vampire
The Films	Beltloops
The Hush Sound	Magnolia
The Moldy Peaches	Anyone Else But You
The New Pornographers	My Rights Versus Yours
The Spill Canvas	All Over You
The Spill Canvas	The Tide
The Velvet Underground	I'm Sticking With You
Vanessa Carlton	White Houses

=]
So whatcha think?
Pretty good huh?
=D

 I have one. Its looks like The Blob Jr.
Its on my inner thigh on my right leg..
And I hate it..

 "..I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason bringing something we must learn and we are led to those who
help us most to grow if we let them and we help them in return and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let
them and we help them in return now I don't know if I believe that that is true but I know I'm who I am today because I knew
you... like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun, like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood...
who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you I have been changed for good.."
- 'For Good'; Wicked

 Umh.. I remember playing under a flag pole in the front yard of the little house in OceanPort..
I think the dogs name was Chance but I cant really remember that..
Umh..
Mom had just brought home the dog and said she found it in a parkinglot and me; TK; Kevin and Katie were playing with it in the front yard..
It was kinda overcast.. Or We were in the shade.. I dunno..
But I do remember we got rid of the dog a few months later..

 When I stress I bite my nails- I stopped biting them for like three weeks and they looked great and stuff but then thi week hit and now their nubs.. lol

Shit I feel like a rockstar lol
This summer so far has just this one small drawback- Im grounded as of last night..
Well; for two weeks..
But .. Well..
Chyeah.
Me and Catie Cin hung out all day yesterday; at noon I walked over through Starlight to get her; and then we walked back to my house for ten minutes; then walked to Target; Walgreens; Chifila; Stop and Shop; Barnes and Nobles; ect.
Nikki dropped off my umbrella at B&N then we hung with Dan (aka Rude) from the show Friday night at the Grange and also Charlie (aka Goldilocks) and when we got there to (Rudes house) I didnt feel so good so when I met his (Rudes) Mom; I got shown the bathroom {chyea THAT was totaly embarassing} and then after I left my phone and bag outside ; we went up to Rudes room and hung out and listend to alot of diff. music. Which was chill.
Then Goldilocks got there and we all hung on the back deck with Rudes Brother and his girlfriend and then I got my phone out and I answered it cuz out of no where my dad was calling and he started freaking out cuz I hadnt talked to him in about five hours and when I got home I got a talking too and then I went to bed.
And now Im babysitting lol
Sigh.
Yeah I guess I do deserve the whole grounded thing but its not like I perposly go outa my way to make him totaly flip and want to murder me in mysleep.
Blarghhh..
The girls are playing with blocks and watching Jimmi Neutron; Ill ttyal
=]
PEACE&LOVE

For whatever ungodly reason- I was awake and making myself coffee at six thirty something am.
*shoots self*
 Internal alarm clock.. I want to kill it.
But anywho- last night was Senior Grad night.
Kelly; Nikki; Chirs; Johnny; Nicole; Mikey; Ryan; Mark; MikeJon the Terrorist; Tephys sister Nikki; and Mikey/Pudding
are now all either Frosh or not going to college..
I know Kelly is headin to Brookdale; Nikki is off to where ever; Mark off to Princeton I think; MikeJon off to some super smarty pants place for evil terrorists XP; and everyone else is up to their own I guess..
Wow.
Just hit me that Im a junior.
Holy.
Shit.
Mar is a frosh..
And TK too..
Woah.
Time flies man..

"Oh Yeahh!? Well, you've got beautiful eyes." *stomps away*

Anything that has an afrodesiac

 My Talent = A Grand Facade of a Floatable Ego that you can sink the Titanic with; another four times over..
Its very fun cuz then peopl go around saying oh shes so full of herself and then you dont really feel all that bad when you skip/dance through the mall to play DDR for an hour to work off foodcourt calories or scream Ave Q and Rent AND Wicked and then shout the lines to any movie all in the same breathe =]
AKA- I totaly win at life
XD